Why is buying something so difficult?

Trying to buy white goods shouldn't be difficult when you are ordering online in the 21st Century. It is April 2026 and I am trying to buy a washing machine and a dishwasher. One gave up the ghost a while ago and the other is now roaring at me like an untamed dragon that I just poked in the eye with a pencil. 

So, off to a major retailer I go. I find items which fit my needs and I have the audacity of asking for an additional service. I would like them to take the old ones away for a fee. Shouldn't be too hard. Both items are confirmed in stock, both deliverable to my regular south coast mainland address and I shall be paying more money for said service. All good, yes?

NO. I go to the basket and now magically I cannot have one or both of the items delivered. OK.....but which one and why not now? Lets ask the chat bot........nope it has no idea because this is well beyond its capability. Let's ask a person. Same information given to the person and I get a response which is tantamount to "Yeah, I can see that too. Bummer. Here's the sales team phone number." 

I'm online because I don't want to people. If I wanted to be around people I would leave the house and go to the store! So a further deep dive and it turns out it doesn't like the extra service. They won't recycle both items. If I remove the recycling service from one of them I can order both for delivery with no issues. WHY???? Who knows? 

Wait....stop....I remember that this company is affiliated with a rewards program that I am connected with and pause before trying to enter payment information. I went through the rewards program and as the basket it still sat there with my expectant items looking embarrassed and sheepish at this point. Get right through to payment...I am ready and want to give you money.....it has been over 2 hours of looking, comparing, deciding......affiliating.......I just want to give you money in exchange for the convenience of being able to not use washing up liquid any more and being yelled at by the kitchen dragon! Please let me give you money.........

Pay securely with (pictures of card options)

Do not close or click to go back on this page while payment is being processed.

Nothing else......no payment boxes. Nothing to input my details. Nowhere to tell my bank to give your bank the money. At this point I am fairly sure this retailer doesn't like customers, doesn't want them to buy things. 

Seriously!!!!

OK.... Don't panic, you are an elder Millennial, you've got this. Turn it off and back on again. Cancel all tabs and begin the process from the beginning. Why does it do the same thing again? Nothing, no indication there is anything behind the dead eyes of a screen saying Pay By Card. That's what I am trying to do! I WANT to PAY!

Ok....more digging. Removing the affiliate side of things makes it work first time!! WHAT?? 

All for the sake of 500 points? Which works out at around £2.50. 

Fine, my sanity is worth far more than £2.50 thank you very much. I'm nearly there. I input my information, press PAY.......

Wait.....no something else..... surely not. Not now, I am so close. I have input my details but now WorldPay is offended?? I cannot have access to WorldPay? Why not? Oh I see you're offended by my VPN which is set to the UK. Where I live. 

Pause on that just for the sake of getting my payment through........will it work this time?? Please to all of sanity out there, just let me buy something.........Success! I made it! I ran the gauntlet of the internet and it didn't defeat me.  

 Thank goodness to ClassicFM Movies which is playing some absolute bangers throughout all of this. The soundtracks to Love Actually, The Lion King, Gladiator, Braveheart, Ghost all keeping my dopamine levels at just the right level so as to not throw an absolute wobbler and just power on through. Now the payment has just been accepted and ClassicFM rewards me with the Avengers theme and I feel that this is the most appropriate thing that has ever happened through the universe and radio. I feel like I have just been through something. Do I now need to try some Shawarma? (IYKYK)

So the moral of the story is, only ask for basic machines, to be delivered to basic addresses, do not add affiliates which are constantly advertised to you because they will not work, don't have a VPN to keep you safe online because you can't buy anything while they are active and for all that is holy do not ask for a service which they offer for an additional fee because this is what caused all the chaos in the first place. 

No seriously, keep going. You can get what you want with perseverance. Yes, I didn't get the most convenience of having things taken away and that is something else I will deal with in the future with an add on Facebook and or a piece of paper saying please take FREE on it and leave the old ones on the driveway. (We have some friendly scrap collectors around here.) But I didn't let all of this defeat me which I would have in the past. I needed to push through all of this and writing all of this down allowed me to laugh and I have a blog post written out now too which is a win. 

I'm off to make a cup of tea now because I am British and that's what we do.

Until next time 

xx